Biking in the Park

It's 10:30 am here and we've already gone for a walk in the park. I took the bike. I saw an aligator! and a Turtle and lots of crows and other birds! It was great! The weather is amazing.
There were a few lizzards climbing this tree, you can see one if you zoom in. See?

THAT'S AN ALIGATOR! He's very young. He's not supposed to be there, they get them out if they are big enough to be dangerous!

A crow!

more fun then stiching

There are the things I bough, I forgot to mention in the last post about that scope botle, I beleive it's a mouth wash. I don't care what it is, i love the tiny botle.


these are the stiched pants, they're strechy and really comfortable. and they look nice, not in this photo though.

this is the shirt I got today.

The unstiched pants. They are pretty. and very comfy.

they are too long. i'll stich them once i'm done here. those are my feet. some of my toes are missing under the pants. I'll get right to that.

and these cookies came a long way accross the world. they're worth it. the ants sure think so. I couldn't get a photo of any ant. they're too tiny and quick.

Love u Bennie.

day one

Today I woke up at 8 am and then we left to get my social security card... we waited about 30 minutes or a bit longer. There were some funny people there, it was packed. An old skinny lady was wearing fluffy blue tiger patterned old alippers. and her hair was crazy. People are very talkative and fun. There are loads of crows here, they are gorgeous, black and bluish, turquoise blue. Not as many obese people as I remember seeing in California, though there are a few.
Then we went for some clothes shopping at macy's and jc penny. not fun. the good clothes are extremely expensive and not worth it, and all the others are really cheap but i wouldn't be caught dead in them. i got a pair of pants and a shirt though, they're nice. and some white slippers. maybe i'll photograph them.
i didn't take any photos today.
tomorrow i'll go get my drivers license. i hope that works out ok.

then i'll cook some of those cookies. i'm improving the recipe and it's amazing by now. i use corn starch and no other flour, and a bit more of margerine. and i forgot to say i use a bit of vanilla essence now. they are the best cookies EVER! seriously. I brought some here, and i'll cook some more. there are tiny ants here.lots of them. I promisse to take nice photos. i'm dependant on other people to go around now so i don't have the time to stop and be artistic and photograph stuff that is exotic to me, like Dairy's Queen or dunkin donuts. Alot of time for that, i'll be here two more weeks.
I might go to miami for an interview.. I'll write about that once i now if there's anything to talk about.
I went to WALMART! I love walmart. I love the cosmetic /pharmacy section. LOVE IT. Love it. love it. I got some eye lubricant, some tooth paste, some protein bars, and an amazing vanilla shower cream. i'm happy. this is all i need. I'm happy here. I'll photograph all of it. just not today.
i'm tired. i slept 6 hours and we walked alot today. and now i´have to go stiching the pants i bought, cause they're too long.
more fun things to come. stay tunned.

Flight day/ Night

travel preparations

I've been doing a million things, very productive day today. I'm preparing for Florida.
I still need to go to the pharmacy to get vitamins for the month, and some Dramine, for the air sickness I get. I hate flying due to it. And go to the bank and exhange euros to dollars. The euro is exactly 1.536 dollars right now. Not bad, for me.

I need to do alot of laundry, which I HATE.

I'm really sleepy. I bought decaf coffee and i think it makes me sleepy. I sound really boring when i'm sleepy. I'm just forcing myself to write today.

If I have easy access to the internet there i'll try to keep a diary on the blog of each day.

I'll leave lisbon on wednesday morning, arrive at Newark, stay there for 5 hours and then fly to Fort Lauderdale, i'll arrive at 5 am lisbon time. I hope to sleep alot. I'll take a book too.
And some music would be nice. some self hypnosis mp3. I love those.

I went to the american embassy today with my boyfriend, to ask about working visas and fiancee visas. It would be alot easier to get married in order for him to be able to live in the states. I feel ready to get married, I want it. I love my BF so much. and more everyday. I hope i don't burst soon. He's pretty perfect.

I have jupiter conjuncting venus next saturday, and a few times later this year. like in November, and venus trining my north node in the 7th at the same time..... I have a feeling I might be married later this year.
My saturn return in the 7th will be exact on the 21st August. so after that I guess it's safe to marry, right? The golden rule will not be broken. :)

With the fiancee visa we'd have to be married 90 days after being in the states...
I need my birth certificate. i can't find it anywhere. I've had a big trip down memory lane today, going through old stuff trying to find the birth certificate. Old pictures, old love letters, penpals, friends....seems like past lifes. I've found pictures of me really big, 60 kgs bigger I'd guess. I kept some. I threw alot of stuff out. I don't like to be attached to the past. It's not time for that now. Once I move out of the country most of my stuff will be left behind. It's ok though. I can deal with it. I just want my books and some objects I brought from other countries I've been to.
I'm trying to find a friend i used to talk to on ICQ. remember that? We were really close, and then I came to lisbon and didn't have internet at home for almost a year, and she was busy with a new baby and we lost contact.... back then there was no messenger. we never knew what we looked like until we started exchanging pictures through snail mail. good old days =P

Anyway, I'm rambling alot. I wish my blog had a theme. it's too miscelanelous.
I learned today that Bush vetoed the anti torture law....."alternative questioning techniques" will continue to be used. That means alot of people will be treated inhumanly and alot of people will be confessing stuff they didn't do in order to not be tortured. Bush is such a criminal. I don't see any diference between him and saddam hussein. His imigration law will make illegal imigrants into criminals.. it won't be just a civil offense, it will be a crime, and people that help someone in that situation will be a criminal too, that means humanitary help too. If they are dying...of thirst, you can't help. if they are children.. there are lots of possible situations where this could be particularly tragic and unhuman.
My mind is blank. I guess i'll go now. I'll try to update and post pictures often. thank u for reading.

oatmeal bread :)

This recipe was too wacky. I have no idea what quantities I used.

It was some warm water with some dry yeast. a couple of eggs. a spoon of sugar.. it could have used a bit more. A bit of salt.

a big cup of oatlmean.. maybe half a cup of corn flour..... then some wheat flour until it was hard enough. then i remember i should have put some fat, such as butter, olive oil, etc.. so i put some olive oil, and some more water. because it had too much flour.... it was messy.

then i left the dough to rise for 30 min.. then mold 3 balls and put them in on of those muffin shaped things you can see in the photo. that's how I got that shape.

Anyway.....i just ate a bit with butter.. yum! I feel ready to settle down now and have a bunch of kids. Or maybe I could just feed other people's kids.

cookies

So I made these cookies, and I wanted to show you and post a recipe - a kind of recipe at least.

i don't have alot of time cause i'm baking bread, oatmeal bread, my favorite. i need to get it into the oven in 10 minutes.

On second thought, i'll go do that now!

Back...in a more relaxed spirit now. Having saturn opposite mercury means requiring alot of time to write and edit.

These cookies are really good. I've been trying different things and these were the best so far. This is what I put in:

2 medium eggs

1 cup of sugar

1 cup of wheat flour - the non self rising

and then

1 cup of self rising flour

1 cup of corn starch

(OMG the bread is smelling wonderful now...i'm near the kitchen)

The flour measures are aproximate and I don't think it's too important that they are exact. If you don't have self rising flour be sure to put baking soda. maybe 1 spoon.

then I put some coconut, maybe 1 cup.

Then i made small balls with the dough in my hands, then flattened them a bit, and put a roasted almond in the center. Then I baked them for maybe 20 min in average heat.

The bread is wonderful too. :)

My housemate says "this cooking phase of mine is wonderful" hehehe.

My camera is out of batteries, so i'm using the camera on my phone.. and them emailing the photo to myself. and it takes forever.

I hope to get the bread photo soon.....

update

Hi.
updating... I'm going to Florida for a couple of weeks this month =) To check it out and meet some friends.
i'll need to get some documents meanwhile. since my wallet was stollen last week.

I'm sick again. I have been sickish ever since 2008 began almost. I've had a flu 4 times. I have weird symptoms this time. I'm itching. not sure it's an allergy or a bug. seems like an alergy on my upper body and like a bug on my legs. I have low fever today.... and it hurts a bit. also I cough non stop for almost an our every night in the past 3 days. then I'm normal the other 23 hours. Feels like I have water in my lungs ticking inside. I'll try to go to a doctor tomorrow. hope that works out. I've started to hate doctors...
I've had other strange symptoms . I hope it's nothing serious. I don't feel much like dying at this time in life.

turns out the cooking craze isn't totally gone. I was just too exhausted before. I didn't sleep much due to the iching so i'm very tired today. too tired to cook. I'm glad it's not gone. it's not such a craze now, but it's entertaining.

Wish board

This image is definetly part of my "wish board". things I want in my life.

I'm getting very psyched about going to florida. I google-earthed it yesterday, and saw some pictures of the Keys...... tropical islands in the south of Florida. I never knew that existed outside far away pacific islands like Bora Bora, where i'd have to fly 29 hours to get to.

I'm a tropical island freak.

north node

Hi,
just thought i'd share how exhausted i am
i left the work, cause it's not compatible with a class i need to take this semester. today was the last day. i'm relieved and emotionally unstable.. i feel psychically contaminated, or at least that's what I think it is. it happens everytime i'm in contact with large groups of people for a long time. i suck all the bad vibes i guess. bad thoughts keep coming to my mind making me feel bad and i can't seem to fight them off. a salt bath is supposed to help.
this happens when i'm tired too. i keep thinking people don't like me. they think i'm bad. they don't get me. i'm alone.
there's no rational reason for this. I just see the negative side of things when i'm tired.

I've been taking a natural calmant sometimes.... makes me feel confy and have confy thoughts as i drift to sleep. Today i think i need a bath in candle light..... wish i could listen to some music too while bathing. *sneeze* life sucks.
i want another job. i like having a shedule. I applyied for a 20 hour/week job answering phones in a support line for domestic violence. that would be pretty nice. it's 4 hours a day and it's not a physical job. i should be fine there. living in a bigger city is nice for getting jobs, there's more options.

I'm planning on moving to Florida by the end of this year, me and ben. we'll get jobs and start a new life. and we'll swim and be in the sun. maybe become vegetarian. that's a long term plan for me. I imagine having a vegetarian familly. we might eat fish though. just not eat mammals. that would be enough.
I want a simple life. I want to cook and do gardening, have fruit trees and pets. I might have a baby, and ben would take care of him. he adores babies. me not so much. but being a mother is one of those things that is just part of being incarnated, one of the big lessons. right? I think it could be wonderful. it could be terrible too. I might risk it.
have u noticed how lots of people never thought of how terrible it can be to have a baby? I know mothers that never had imagined a baby would cry all night long, and get sick so often, or even be born with a terrible sickness of whatever, become an addict, a teenage delinquent.. etc. I'm very aware of all that and not really aware of the good things.
*cough* ugh. hate being sick. bye.

Persepolis Movie Trailer

this movie is so worth seeing. it's so funny and sweet.

solar return

I'm exhausted.......my wallet was stolen today. I'm just.....ready to check out. so tired, so unmotivated....tired tired tired........my whole body hurts.
I hope the next days are better. the new job is hard.
i just want to sleep. goodnight.

Rainy Sunday

it's a rainy day around here....
I've been recovering from a nasty flu.

Tomorrow will be my first day at work officially. I'll be stoping people in the street to talk to them about human rights and asking them to be a supporter. This would be fine in most places, but doing it in lisbon is kind of spooky. People aren't happy. They are poor and have too many problems of their own, kids and husband to feed, and dealing with traffic, that sort of thing. who cares about female genital mutilation and darfur when you have all these things going on. it won't be easy.
I think this will be a big part of my saturn return in the 7th. And a big part of my life in general. My development as a person. I'll need to learn to get up by myself, over and over. What saturn in the 7th has taught me so far has been to find peace inside me after being let down by other people. It made me feel ok by knowing i'm a good person, doing my best, it's ok to not be perfect as long as you are trying your best and not being mean or having bad intentions. But I wonder if i'll be able to do this everyday.
I feel sickish.....
my cooking craze is gone. i'll still cook, because i want to eat. but it's not very joyous lately.

Pray for me.

My birthday will be this week, by the way.

About Amnesty International

Fun fact about the AI: it actually all started back in 61 when an english journalist wrote about 2 PORTUGUESE students being arrested for toasting to freedom.
fun fact about portugal: we only become a democracy in 1974, 25 of april, after a peaceful revolution. meaning no one was killed during it. It was known as the flower revolution, because a woman put flowers she was carrrying in the guns of the soldiers.

Amnesty International

BULLET - THE EXECUTION

Lots of people are being sentenced to death, or life in prison for decades for speaking their mind. Go to the amnesty internationl site to find out what you can do to help. A simple letter can save lifes. http://www.amnestyusa.org/JoinUs.html

http://www.amnesty.org/ http://www.amnistia-internacional.pt/

Ask and you shall receive

Remember when I wrote this a couple months ago:

I beleive the Universe conspires to realize your wishes once you put them out there, so this is me doing exactly that.My perfect job would be 30 hours per week, using my skills in psychology or astrology, or translating, or all of the above and maybe some other skills I might have, maybe computer skills or driving skills! And i'd be payed for it, a fair amount. I'd be happy with that.Thank you Universe, in advance.

Well, I got a job! The coolest thing is they called me and offered it. And guess what, it's 30 hours a week! a fair pay! AND I'll be helping save lifes fund raising and informing about the work of Amnisty International. :) I totally identify with the ideals of the AI, I feel happy and blessed.
Thank you Universe, yet again. :)

I plan to soon post some more info about how you can colaborate with the AI and more info about what they are doing and etc. It's really inspiring and powerful.

Iceland

This was alot of fun, for 10 minutes. My face was freezing.

I went back to the car and dreamt of a tropical beach. The snow is delicious though.

Lusa, the cocker spaniel

LUSA, my favorite dog in mainland portugal.

I look really good eating snow with that thing on my hair, don't I? That black spot behind me is Lusa!

Snow and stuff

Bennie and me. I love being outside the city.

Today's carbohydrate creation. I figured out how to make them with the hole. Happy day.

Frozen grass

Butter & Co.

Forgive me, I just can't help myself....I just baked these for that dinner this weekend. Waiting for those beauties to cool down so I can freeze them.

A Randam Fact about me I just remembered: as a kid my grandmother used to crush an aspirine and mix it with sugar so I would take it when I was sick. Didn't taste bad at all.

I'll be away from home for the next 5 days and I'm afraid I'll miss cooking so much I won't be able to sleep. This is what I do lately, I'm in bed planning to cook things the next day and fighting the urge to get up and not sleep at all..... Is there a Cooking Addicts Anonymous ? Maybe I should start one. This as lasted for 3 weeks now.

I've always liked to cook ocasionally, but especially because I wanted to eat something special.

Another Random Fact: I started cooking when I was 7 years old, pancakes.

I made some great oatmeal bread yesterday. I had some fresh baked bread with real azorean butter : Ilha Azul. (translation: blue island) It's made in my island, where all the cows are happy cows.

There's pictures of the cows a couple of posts below by the way.
So, back to the cooking, I think this adiction is very interesting. It's fueled by the fact that people compliment me on it. It makes them happy. And that makes me happy. Cooking itself makes me happy lately, that's the real mistery. I think of the combinations I can make, the improvements, how things would taste if I do it another way... I'm looking for perfection. That's the ultimate goal. Makes me feel more independent, powerful in some weird housewife way.

Lately I had been feeling traumatized with dining out... since meeting my boyfriend 6 months ago I started to eat at restaurants all the time with him, and even though he usually insists in paying all of it I am shocked by how much money one spends, and then the food sometimes is so not worth it. (by the way, I've done some great pizzas at home now, that's so cheap to make an so much better then when u buy them here. I make one with pesto and buffalo mozzarela and cherry tomates, and thyme or basilic, not sure now, it was great) It might have started when I paid 1.10 euro for a Brigadeiro. I can make 50 of those with 1.10 euro. It's a tiny ball made with condensed milk and coccoa. neither of those ingredientes cost more then 70 cents and can make lots of those balls. Also because I have a tiny stomach I usually feel sick eating out because I try to force myself to eat a whole plate, then spend 40 minutes feeling very sick.. maybe all these things amounted to my compulsive cooking.

Anyway, it's not a bad thing at all, just weird.
I'd like to say my computer is packed with trojans lately. And they make my keyboard very slow. It's much better today, maybe all the adawares I installed are working, but it's still not normal. So the lasts posts are full of typos, which I won't correct unless someone asks me too. I think it's readeable like that.

Hope u enjoyed my pictures. Have a great weekend/Carnival!

PERFECT!

Mission accomplished!

Perfecting the art - the sequel

Ok, I'm back.
This weekend we're having a dinner party with my bf's friends at his mom's, and I've been required to take at least 25 cinnamon rolls. I've decided to take some filhozes too, so my mother-in-law to be will try them, because she's nice, and I think they will be apreciated. So I've decided to cook them today and freeze them. because I won't have alot of time tomorrow to cook both the rolls and filhozes.

I just put about:
2 cups of milk,
a big spoon of sugar and
half a cup of vgetable oil in a hot pan and let it almost boil. It actually boiled a little.
Then to make it colder faster I put it in another container and etc. You can just wait till it's warm and not HOT, and then get a little bag of 11 grams of yeast in, and let it get moist and foamy. Stir.... then add flour until it's a ball of dough.
Let it rest, go take a shower or something. I've decided to not add any igredientes now, so they don't interfere with the yeast's happyness. I'll add them right after my shower. I'll let it rise for a little over half an hour.

I'll be back later to tell what I added next. Only God knows, so I won' try to predict.

Part II

Back. took a shower, did some streching...
I added :
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of baking soda
a big teaspon with baking powder
zest rom 1 big orange, and half of the juice from it
1 big spoon of port win
8 egg yokes

I mixed if with my hand. It had lots of noodles, but they were dissolved after some stirring. Then added more flour to make it harder. I don't want it too hard. they are easier to mold if harder, but makes them more compact and we don't want that. I'm tired by now.
The dough will rise now for a while. 1 to 3 hours. See ya then.

Perfecting the art

This is a portuguese pastry people usually cook around carnival. It's called Filhoz or in the plural: filhozes.

Pronouned fee-low-zeys hahaha. No. I don't think the LH sound exists in english. It's like the double L in spanish, if you can relate to that. Like in amarillo. I'm not good at this, nevermind. You might as well make a new name for it.

It's not even possible to explain how to pronounce things like this in english, I don't know why dictionaries bother to try. I was just making fun of that. It's how a dictionary would explain it problably.

Anyway, they're gooood.... but they have to be done properly. I've been trying to perfect how I do it, and I'm excited. I'm getting closer to te perfect Filhóz. This is a science project of mine.

So I'm posting the recipe of how I will do them the next time I do them. I will use as less milk as possible and more egg yokes and more orange skin.

So I'll use milk, sugar, normal cooking vegetable oil (or olive oil or butter, but I think the oil is lighter and doesn't interfere with how the other ingredients taste), white flour, yeast, Port wine, orange or lemon zest, baking powder, salt, baking soda.

First, put 150 ml of milk in a pan, with 1/4 cup of oil, and 2 table spoons of sugar - the theory is still untested, but i think the less sugar you put the better, because it they'll have sugar coating in the end already....) But anyway, i'll do 2 spoons of sugar. Heat the milk, oil, sugar mix in the pan until it ALMOST boils. This part of the recipe I copy exactly from the cinnamon rolls here http://www.thepioneerwomancooks.com/2007/06/cinammon_rolls_.html except i use much smaller quantities of ingredientes she's using there.

-> Turn the heat off and let it cool untill it's not hot, just warm.

-> Then it's safe to put 1 bag of yeast, or about a table spoon of yeast. Just sprinkle i on top and let it be absorved for a minute. Check the photos on the website above, they're very enlightening. Then give it a stir to help the absortion.

-> Then I'll add zest from 1 orange and maybe a bit of juice from it. I'm keeping in mind I want to add as less liquids as possible because my plan is to add as many egg yokes a I can later on. My theory is that will make them yummier then these from today.

today I learned, I think, how to make them light and fluffy as a cloud. I'll share that later along the recipe.

-> Mix. Start adding the flour now, 2 cups of flour to start to make it pasty. Maybe 3 cups. I want it to be very pasty, then I'll add 8 EGG YOKES!!!!! yes. Maybe more if I go crazy enough. I want them to be bright yellow, because the best Filhozes I've ever had were bright yellow. Maybe even 10 egg yokes. If that doesn't cut it I'll give up and just use food coloring alogn with half the eggs. I'm not using the egg whites because it will make it necessary to add more flour, and that will make it whiter and less flavourful (I want to enhance the orange and port wine flavor....keep in mind this is my theory. I'm learning from trial-error here, along with some reading and some experience. )

Now.... I'll dd the port wine sometime along the recipe. maybe when i add the orange zest. Most people use either the orange OR the port wine, or even lemon, or nothing at all. But his is my recip and I want both orange and port wine. They're not incompatible at all. But one of them might be enough if you want to keep it simple. That might be the best actually. I really want to enhance to egg yokes flavour too. so I might skip the port wine altogether if I have the heart. I'm to attached to it. it's good. I'm hoping all the flavours (orange, port wine & egg yokes) will be present. That's my goal in this recipe. It's very yummy in my imagination.

So, supposing you add the orange zest and port wine (about 2 table spoons by the way) together, now you'll just keep adding flour untill it's a roll of dough that you can punch around.

-> Make a big ball now and let it rest for an hour and a half. The bigger the dough is the longer it should rest. 3 hours is the best. Keep it in a warm place, so the yeast can grow and prosper, with a towel or two covering the pan.

-> 2 hours later it should have tripled it's size. Now...today it didn't. This is why cooking is so challenging. I think it might have been either because of the port whine...the alcohol migt have been to agressive to the yeast (this is also why you don't add the salt yet, it hurts the yeast!) or, it was because the milk was still hot when I put the yeast in, and it might have killed it a bit. Or less likely, it wasn't warm enough in the kitchen. But experience tells me unless it is extremely cold, 2 hours would be still enough time for it to rise. The cold makes the yeast slower. So I think it was the hot milk... Anyway, this mistake made me discover how to make them really light and fluffy, this is what I did and what I'll do next time, (because I've been reading bread recipes and this is what they do too), I'll share the secret in a minute:

->I'll add 1 teaspoon of salt, a pinch of baking soda, 2 teaspoons of baking powder. Then, I put olive oil all over my hands and punched and stirred it around a bit, and then - here's the secret to fluffly: let it rise AGAIN! Wait for a couple of hours. I took a nap and then went shopping, and when I came back the dough had risen! More then double it's size. I also heat the pan a bit before leaving. to make the yeast happy.

-> then you just heat a high pan half full of vegetable oill, and deep fry the dough. but first snap the dough into litle balls, flatten them and strech them out like a mini pizza and put them in the very hot oil. when it turn golden brown turn them around. I fry about 3 or 4 at the same time.

-> I was mind set about not having them be greasy, so i wanted my hands to be very oiled so I could mold them without any pointy edges that usually end up burned and greasy, and I wanted the oil to be very hot, so it wouldn't take long to fry and so not absorve alot of oil. Learn from my mistakes: flatten the dough so it won't be raw in the inside and burned in the outside. That's that very hot oil will do.

I flattened mine, streched them actually, like a medium high pizza or less and turn the heat to minimum and they were perfect from then on.

After thy're all nice golden brown take them out into a bowl will lots of white sugar and cinnamon, maybe one or 2 table spoons of cinnamon to 1 big cup of sugar. and roll them around in the stuff. One by one. Then put them in a plate with napkins on the bottom, so they will absorve excess oil. They're not hard to make at all. Frying them can be a pain, because it's usually big quantities of dough. But they're delicious. Great for lunch and even breakafst, or middle of the night. or...the sky is the limit :)

Writing this was more tiring then the baking! Feww...

Q & A session

1. What is your occupation?
Learning to cook by trial-error method and hibernating.

2. What color are your socks right now?
Dirty white.


. 3. What are you listening to right now?
Background sound of the tv and my typing.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
The thing I'm gonna post a picture of on the post above, called Filhóz. Fried dough with sugar and cinnamon all over it.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
I did a test about this once and it said I would be Plum. I agree.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
I think my mother, this afternoon.

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yes, she is lovely.


10. Favorite drink? Depends ALOT. On the top are "cafe au lait" , coke, passion fruit drinks, apple juice, water, mango juice....etc. Would be lot easier to say what I don't like.

11. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? I hate all, but maybe olympic diving is the most bareble, or olympic ice skating. ice skating? ...sliding? I don't know. (english is NOT my first language, just so you know)

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes.....

13. Pets?
How long do you have? I've had fish, periquits (?) other type of birds i can't name, turtles, many many many dogs and cats, chickens, ducks, turky, a pig, horses, hamster, hedgehog, pidgeons, goats, cows..... I've had dozens of cats over my life and dozens of dogs. But I l remember the name of my first dog, Tobias. And the dog that marked me the most was Serra, a very motherly german shepperd. The cats we didn't even name. I think i've covered the list.

14. Favorite food? Depends on what my body i craving that day. I like internacional food alot, chinese, pizza, indian food!!...

15. Last movie you watched? Ensemble, c'est tout. I loved i. I miss happy endings.


16. What's your Favorite Day of the year? My birthday.


17. What was your favorite toy as a child?Either my pets or barbies. And a bigger doll I had, with gorgeous dark straight hair, just like I wanted to have mine. I loved cutting their hair.

18. What is your favorite, fall or spring?
I'd have to say spring. That's when I get out of hybernation and greet the sun.


19. Hugs or kisses? Hugs

20. Cherry or Blueberry? CherrIES. Plural. I eat loads of them.

21. Do you want your friends to email you back? That would be fun, but i don't think they will since I'm not gonna forward this.

22. Who is most likely to respond? No one


23. Who is least likely to respond? The president of Quenia.

24. Current living arrangements? in a flat with my favorite cousin, and the ocasional gecko.

25. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.

26. What is on the floor of your closet? old clothes I might wear sometime to paint the house in.

27. Who is/are the friend(s) you have had the longestthat you are sending this to?
Ì don't like to repeat myself alot.

28. Which friend have you had the shortest that youare sending this to?
yeah, it's a great night. I think tomorrow might rain a bit though.


29. Favorite smell? vanilla..ocean... herbs.

30. What inspires you? watching people, music.

31. What are you afraid of? not having support

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?cheese

33. Favorite car? hm. i'd like to have a convertible bmw, in platinum grey.

34. Favorite cat breed? Ragdolls.

35. Number of keys on your key ring? Four.

36. How many years at your current job? I think since past lifes.

37. Favorite day of the week? Saturday.

38. How many states have you lived in? One.

39. How many countries have you been to? Six. seven if you count the one I live in.

40. Today's date and time: 30th January 2008 10:30

done!

Six random facts about me

I was tagged by Devil Mood to write this. :)
I haven't figured out how to personalise links with html here ) http://www.devilmood.blogspot.com/

Here are the Rules:
- Link to the person that tagged you.
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

SIX RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

(with a mix of Post Secret to it)

1- I , involuntarily, threw myself over a cliff on a 4 wheel moto at the age of 11, broke a few ribs and got some scars.
2- I learned to drive a car at the age of 12.
3- I have 2 sisters and 1 adopted brother. And yes, my parents are nuts.
4- As any middle child, I'm traumatized. To ilustrate this I can tell you my parents like to tell the story of me in the crib with my 10 month younger sister and I'd cry and then shout her name, so they would think it was her crying, this was meant to make someone come faster.
5- I wanted to be a virgin until marriage due to my faith in God. I changed my mind about both at 22.
6 - I like writing this so much I'm considering writing random facts about me on regular posts. Maybe once a week.


I'm tagging:
http://www.caminhoeterno.blogspot.com/
http://fernandoatvacations.blogspot.com/
http://followus2008.blogspot.com/
http://iceteaaddict.blogspot.com/
http://www.azorenbluewater.blogspot.com/
http://devilsuncle.waarbenjij.nu/

Choices in love

Back to saturn, which is now structuring how I live relationships.... I'm having a hard time choosing between passion, romance, fusion, being known and understood...... and a stable partner for life.... with whom to raise a familly and share a nice pretty life, with none of the other things. What kind of life would it be?

I keep thinking if that life turns out to not be so pretty, if there's desease, children with no health... would I cope? the answer is problably not. My inner balance is pretty fragile. I can't afford to make bad important choices. I usually don't.
I feel very anguished about this. It's hard to explain the process through which stability in relationships has become so important for me lately, and how it seems to matter just as much as all the things I don't have.

I'll wait. A bit longer.

Wish board

I thought of The Secret, how they suggest you put up a Wish Board with things you want to attract to yourself, to your life. This is what I tried to do here. Still a few things missing, but it's a good start.

One of them is a puppy. I think my favorite thing in the world are puppies. Puppy breath, puppy cuteness... there's nothing bad about them and they are all it takes to make me happy.

A house by the ocean. Because they make me happy too. All these things make me happy, so I won't repeat it... I see myself coming in to the house one late summer afternoon, it's warm and there's a breeze, smells like ocean. That tree in the picture tastes like salt, and it gives me peace. The house smells peaceful too. It can be silent, or fun, or a myriad other ways but it always feels like home.

A nice kitchen, because my cooking craze hasn't gone away yet, and because I want to make delicious food there and feed friends and familly and pets and take them to other rhelms of gastronomic delight and make them feel mothered, at home. Give my children and loved ones good memories, make them feel safe.

Which takes me to the next photo, the babie and the puppies. I was looking for "comunity, friends" but that photo looked perfect. Pets are our best friends. Humans make mistakes. Pets don't. you don't expect much from them so they won't disapoint. I beleive they are special gifts from God, the teach unconditional love, and teach to live in the moment.

Peace, inside me. Peace when i look back at my past and see the choices i've made and who I've become. Peace in the world. May people be able to detach from their wounds and see things at a larger scale, see we are all one. And when we hate others we hate ourselves.

Freedom, is my highest value in life. I think it's a sin and crime to not allow someone else to do whatever it is they are moved to do, unless it will interfere with someone else's freedom. I hope I have more and more freedom to discover and be myself and help others do the same. It's the biggest gift in life. God gave us freedom of choice, it's what allows us to make mistakes and learn, evolve....etc. there would be alot to say about this.

Last but not least, :) a fireplace to soothe my soul and help me get over winter blues. Cozy.

mix pics

´

These are some photos in my hard drive. The cows I took myself. they're very photogenic. that door at Shakeasper and Co is so me..

The Sequel

I WAS NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE COOKING CRAZE....

The cinnamon rolls I did 2 days ago disapeared quickly and I was asked to do some more for a party in 2 weeks. So I decided to practise some more, see how it goes.

They don't look bad, but I was really depressed with the first set of rolls I took out of the oven. They are pale..... and for some reason the frosting is pale too. I had very high expectations, and now I'm tired and disapointed.
But at least I've learned a couple of things and next time I'll do things better: I'll make the dough a little thicker so it can cook more time and I think it will taste better too, not so sweet. And make the coffee for the frosting a little stronger. And maybe put some butter on them before cooking for a more golden look. I hope that works....

Now i'm waiting for the frosting to get harder so I can freeze them. I'm not too happy though :(


Also the dough has some brown freckles! what's that about? I've done pizza dough and other stuff and that always happens, I have absolutly no idea why. i've seen it in bread that I've bought, so maybe it's not me. Since these are so pale the freckles are more noticable. The frosting made them prettier.

I really wasn't kidding about the craze. I'm embarassed to get into details about that.

Jesus Christ SuperStar - Judas Song

In portuguese...

Judas Super Star

I just came back from the theater. I saw the portuguese version of Jesus Christ Superstar. I liked Judas! See his video above. He kicks ass. Today we got the substitute for the main Jesus Christ, not the one you see on the video above, and I think that was a pitty. If he was meant to be the main atraction, he certainly wasn't today. Judas took over in my opinion. People still applauded Jesus a bit more, but I think it was just for convention.

Overall, it was nice. I'm a bit confused about this play, mixed feelings. I didn't like how they chose to start it: in the first minutes of the play you see images of new york, in a huge screen, almost 3 times the size of a cinema screen, and then you see the 9/11 scenes, the plane crashing..... and... I mean, why?

I know they meant to update the play, and refer to the religious wars nowadays, but it was just not justified and very shocking. I was trying to hold the tears in and not being able to. And I didn't like that, too violent. I shut down emotionally quite a bit after that and was more cinical during the rest of the play. Lack of sensitivity, is my first critique.

Also it's a very flashy kind of show, kind of like Cirque du Soleil, and the production/ setting and the actors were just not up to it, most of the actors weren't that good, problably because they casted them for the singing abilities above all. That was a bit distracting sometimes. I tend to be a bitch with performing arts. I try not to. They make me itchy if they aren't really good. I did gain some respect for actors after doing a workshop of public speaking with an actor a few weeks ago. It can be a real art to use your body and soul to... well, pretend you're someone else. But as it may be obvious along this post, I have a bit of a problem with non realistic things.

The mixed feelings are mostly because the story of jesus is so well known, and most people, and certainly I, have our own interpretation of what happened and how. I guess that is the whole point of the play: to be rebelious and -at the time it came out, circa 1973 - be revolutionary, and show the jewish version of who Jesus was, just a man. They don't show the ressurection. It ends in the death.

note: the following paragraph is a post scriptum edit, so nevermind if it's not too coherent with the next piece of text.

-> I'm realizing Judas is "secretly"- in the sense it's not too obvious - meant to be the hero. He does die in the end, just as Jesus. He dies in remorse. But he does come back! He sort of resurrects and comes back with black wings, some time after in the play! OMG! How ironic. It is ironic that this video above is publicised by a catholic institution, and the voice-off at the theater is a well known radio guy who talks about his christian faith publicly, and the theater was filled with old catholic looking people mostly. This is what saturn -mercury will do to you. I take my sweet time to figure things out. I wonder if other people figured Judas is the hero in Jesus christ Super star. Oh the irony.

Pre insight text -> The characters are very human in a "plutonic" way: very visceral, not mystical or spiritual at all. That is the only original thing in the play. Which i liked but causes the mixed feelings I mentioned, created an opposition between my interpretation of the story and the author's. I think it would have been more realistic to portray the followers of Jesus like a new age cult nowadays, people a little lost and tending to fanaticism, but I guess that wasn't common at all in the pre Jesus era. He started the trend. Before him religions were pretty much like they are now again, mostly conventional rituals, traditions. He began the cult feeling. The spiritual-minority truth-holders-missionary thing. Not enough sociological studies on those.

One thing wasn't either original nor realistic at all. Jesus was a jew, he wasn't a nordic blue eyed blond hair barbie man. He was dark and had a long nose like jews do. He definatly wasn't blond. But that is also the way he is portrayed in the catholic paintings all over my grandmother's house, a barbie doll. Judas is mixed race, of course! In the original play he is dark as night actually.

They - not exactly made a caricature - but made each character into an archetype. The bad and the good. The black and the white. And the purple. This is more obvious in the secondary characters. The priests are very "evil witch". Judas is the more complex one. And he seems to be a bit jeoulous of Jesus and Magdalene sometimes. There's a very gay and sexualized energy to the play all along. A tad of venezualian-soap-opera kind of love triangle. Which is interesting. It's rebelious to wonder the motivations of the people behind such a religious story.

The main characters, Judas, Peter and Magdalene seem to beleive Jesus isn't God, he's a mere man, an iluded man, which they love (and lust) nonetheless. People of no faith!!!! :) Did make me remember that the idea of faith being a good thing began after Jesus. That's when it became real important at least. Before, when Moses was leading the jews accross the desert and they were bitchin all the way, lacking faith, Moses would complain and bitch back, but no problem, God would still send the mana to feed them and keep them safe nontheless. Trying to prove himself to them. After Jesus that changed. no faith, no deal.

I loved Judas, he is extremely talented and a hottie.

III P.S. - In defense of my brain, I have to say it really isn't obvious that Judas is the hero. He is very sexualized and agressive, and a traitor!.. and he's in black, and he commits suicide, and when he comes back with his wings, he comes back in a sort of boys band, they all have black wings. The message that he is the hero is very subliminal. It only came to my attention this play might be a jewish version of the events because I read someone mention that on youtube just now, fecthing that video above. I didn't watch the play expecting it to be anti christ. And they sure don't make it in-your-face obvious like they do with all the other secondary characters. He's a man that beleives what he is doing, though he has a human side too, being afraid of dying. That shows he wasn't a psycho. He is very respected... as a human, never as God. I didn't give that much thought though -just got a little ich at the lack of historic accuracy - because I thought it was acceptable, that will just make the ressurection that much more spectacular... but no. Only Judas came back from death. Judas the hell raising, Jesus lusting traitor.

Jesus is the one that takes center stage at the end and names the play and all! And all the christians go an see it and applaude Jesus at the end.

Oh god. I'm having a saturn-mercury crisis. Do you think I might be retarded? I'll ask my bf if he figured it out. He's usually pretty quick at that sort of thing. If he didn't i'll calm down.

It is very sarcastic that Jesus is portrayed as a barbie man. Shows the shear ignorance people have about who he was. Now I see why this play is such a classic. It appeals to all people, the christians enjoy the publicity to Jesus either way, i'm sure. It's pretty brilliant actually. Not the fact it appeals to all, but the play itself, it's potencially an awesome show in the right conditions.

Maybe I didn't get it because I couldn't understand all the words they were singing, and the acting wasn't that great.

I watched a clip of the Judas in the JCSS movie and he made it a bit more clear that he was a nice person, divided. This Judas today was more raged all the time, crazed. It was confusing. The director might have adapted a little, to make it harder for people to get it. Because portugal is a very religious country, he wouldn't have an audience if people were understanding the message. Really ironic that christian man was the voice off of the play. Ok, enough rambling about this.

Cinnamon Rolls

Aren't these amazing?? I just made them and I'm sooo excited!!
They are freakin delicious! And I think they look beautiful.
I have to go because I'm sending these pictures to friends online and they are coming over right now!

Thanks to Pioneer Woman for this recipe!!! I was reading her blog all night long! http://www.thepioneerwomancooks.com/2007/06/cinammon_rolls_.html
She's alot of fun to read, and there's amazing recipes there.

Be back later!

FOOD

Just thought I'd share I'm having a cook craze, it is official. I have been cooking ALOT, and things are delicious, my freezer is packed with food. I want to cook, improve my cooking, eat and feed people. This is what drives me. Venus is conjunct my moon these days. That must be why.

I made the best chicken soup ever. The best roasted meat. The best caccoa balls, the best fruit salad.... what else..? potato salad. banana pancakes. I'm having violent urges to bake home made cookies. which i've never done by myself. I've decided to wait and get proper ingredients and do them tomorrow. also having urges of discovering how to make pizza dough, so I can make the perfect pizza. I use a tomato sauce for pizza which is delicious. then put some canned pineapple in tiny bits, and green pepper in tiny bits and them a mix of cheeses or just mozzarela, it's great. Except I do it with frozen pizza bases and they're ok, but not very exciting. I miss good pizza. There are 3 pizzarias in my island and they are all very good. (the photo is from one of those, i didn't make it) My island has 15 thousand people. I now live in lisbon, which has half a million people, and no good pizza anywhere. I've looked hard. There are some that are interesting but not my idea of pizza at all. Most are just very very bad. This pains me much. I had a very good pizza in a town up north once. 300 kms away.

I still have a fat person's head. Food is so amazing. I've tried drugs once, and it was good, but food is better. It used to be at least. It did change after the bypass. Now I get disapointed often. I expect food to have the same effect as before, and it doesn't. Maybe that's why I like to feed other people now.

Detox ... ?

So... I don't think the enema worked. I wasn't able to get much liquid in, it either didn't move out of the pear no matter how hard i squeezed or moved and most came out and wet my bed. I think a bit went in though. I layed there on my right side for 20 minuted anyway, so the coffee would reach the liver, thinking next time I'll ask if I should lay on my head if I want the liquid to go to my brain and laughing by myself.
I'm stupid, I know.
But some things just don't make alot of sense to a non medical person like myself.

I will try it again, but with water or water and magnesium sulfate, or a proper soap. Maybe I'm too clugged for anything to go in yet. I'll keep trying. Wish me luck. Meawhile I went shopping and am preparing a nice dinner for tonight. :)

Enema day

Seems like today is a good day to talk about how I feel

according to my favorite online horoscope (That's soulgarden, on youtube). Not only me, but all Pisces! Yes....sun sign astrology. Ir works sometimes. I've figured how it works, each sun sign is put on house one.

For pisces that makes aries be in house 2, house of personal values and self esteem, house 3 in taurus..house of comunication, etc. So today the moon is in taurus, in pisces' house of comunication = a good day to talk about our piscean feelings.

I feel bummed out mostly, a bit unconfortable in the world lately, having weird days and wanting to check out. Feeling intoxicated... I'm looking forward to doing a coffee enema today, for the first time! Hoping it will help me detox and feel more alive and awake. I've been reading alot about it. Here's a good link if you're interested: http://www.enapure.com/bottom_of_it.html

I can't wait to do it. I need to go buy the enema at the pharmacy. I've never done it, but feel ready. I'm determined to make it a good experience. I'll have nice music on. And be lying confortably for the 15 minutes. I'm supposed to lay on my right side for that long before I use the bathroom, after having the coffee pour inside the colon. The coffee will meanwhile stimulate the bile and make it pour out into the colon all the toxins in my body hopefully. That's what the doctor said it would do. This is a very taurean subject.

I've done a detox in brazil once. a couple of times actually. and it included colon cleansing as soon as we'd arrive, we had to drink magnesium sulfate in a bit of water and then drink alot of water and it all went to the colon and that washed everything. Truely. I had clean water coming out at one point. This was because I had been there for 21 days, on 400 cal a day, organic vegetarian food, then i left the clinic for 3 days and when I came back I had to take the magnesium sulfate again, but I was still clean, so I had clean water coming from my colon. I hope this isn't graphic in your mind. It isn't in mine. Anyway, now to the good part. My skin has fortunatly never been bad, but it was absolutly perfect then. I felt great. I would eat half a grape or whatever we were allowed to eat at a meal, and 2 hours later, I'd have a bowel movement. Like a clock. Like a baby, or a puppy. That's how it's supposed to be.

I lost 15 kilos in a month there, this was pre bypass surgery. It was very violent psychologically, I was there all alone and it was a religious institution, very freaky one at that. And had a stupid doctor call my father an tell him I wasn't trying hard enough! All because he asked me how I was doing and I was honest, I told him it was hard and I felt the clinic was strange. He didn't like that I guess. I changed to a wonderful cuban doctor after that. I actually kind of fell in love with him, and that gave me strengh to be there.

It was one of the hardest things I've done though. Much harder then anything i've gone though after the gastric bypass. But in the midst of it all, I do remember my skin looking amazing, and not having strange pain or feeling sluggish like I do now, etc. And having energy to get up at 6 am and doing a 2 hour walk, then 2 hours of hidrogymnastics, all in one morning! and in the afternoon taking 1 hour hikes and doing more gymnastics and sometimes playing tennis! Oh, and walking on a treadmill late in the evening.

That was extreme. Some days I did all that. And I wasn't eating. I was doing a juice diet for 2 weeks, but with all the fast weight loss I felt a constant nausea and sometimes couldn't eat at all. That was a 400 cal a day, but somedays I must have been at 200. You need 1000 a day just to make your vital organs function. Have I mentioned how violent it was? it was crazy really. But I learned some good things.

I really really really want to feel good and fit everyday. I want to create a healthy routine for me. I want to be as healthy as ever.

Also I've been feeling a very strong need to express me. My voice, my truth. And ONLY that. This is my saturn opposite mercury I think. I want it badly. I feel so frustrated to see things and not have a voice, not be able to express how I see things. I want to find a way to do it. I don't know how though. I mean, I'm not talking about writing, I want to speak. Speaking is a problem for me. Organizing thoughts. I have mercury in pisces square neptune. I think in images and feelings, confusing ones. and it takes me a while, some times days, to be able to translate them to words. I want to work on this more intensively. Don't know how though.

On a different subject, today in the azores we celebrate girl friends day. Last week was boy friends day. So today all the girls get together, no men allowed, and go party. The local tv station usually reports it. should be fun.

I'll go get ready for my enema. :P I'll let you know how it worked later.

ps- don't know why but I haven't been able to publish this with proper paragraphs! It's so cluttered like this.....:/

let me try some html

hello

tralala

Motion

I changed templates!!

this one feels nice for now. I'm tired of looking. I need to learn to personalize it a bit.

I lost all the comments :( all the links :( and lots of cool things.....

anyway, life goes on. I'll try to get the links back and make the template cooler in the next days or so.

I found this lovely image:

update

Sorry for the abscense. I've been hibernating and dealing with secondary effects of antibiotics.
my digestive system has gone on strike. Do you have any ideas of something to write about? I'm not too inspired lately..