=)

Blackie, the rottweiller

here's blackie, fully awaken now!

She was smelling cat accross the wall.

She was staring at the rock I was about to throw. She loves to fetch rocks. Balls or sticks she doesn't care for at all, only rocks. She'll go fetch the rock and bring it back for another go untill she's tired which can take a while.

It was a great day though. I brushed her coat today, she really needed it.

In Portugal it's illegal to have a rottweiller that hasn't been castrated or steriliezed, and to walk them without a mouth protection so they won't bite, and a leash... they're tryign to exterminate the race. It's absurd.

I let her walk freely, because her leash is really short, and besides no one seems bothered by her. She minds her own business. She played with another dog this morning which was fun. Most dogs around here aren't very social. She's not very predictable though. You can't mess with her alot if she doesn't know you, she threatens to bite. I can mess with her all i want and she won't, but she thinks about it... She loves to ride in the car with her head in the wind, and yesterday I took her for a litle ride and then she hadn't had enough, she wouldn't leave the car. I had to force her. And I could tell she was upset about it, she knows she's stronger then me, but she respects me enough to not fight too hard. It was upsetting because I was sick yesterday and didn't need that kind of behavior from her. usually I would've closed the door and let her sit in the car a couple hours until she got sick of it or thirsty. All in all we're doing fine, she's sweet and very playful.

Meet Blackie

My familly's 100 pound rottweiller. She was meant to be shipped to brazil today, along with my mother, but she was missing an authorization from the brazilian consulate... no one told us about that. So she didn't go. She camae from the azores yesterday, she took a muscle relaxer. She took a few more this morning as she was supposed to be asleep during the flight.. Now she's snoring in the floor next to me.

She has a pink tongue. She's likes to run after rocks. The "plan" is to ship her back to the azores on sunday. I'll keep her here meantime.

Life II - saturn in the 7th

Devil Mood said...
Did that happen recently? That sounds like hell. But I really enjoyed reading that, even though I don't have much wisdom to offer (from one saturn in the 7th to another lol - we should write a book with this title, don't you think?)
Oh the lessons I'll have to learn until my return. I feel like I haven't learnt a single one, to be honest.

This happened exactly a year ago! It was hellish. I felt exactly that that before, like I didn't know anything at all about relationships, truely. This must be normal then, before the return. But maybe you won't have to learn the same things as I did. I made very silly mistakes, out of naiveness. I've seen very few people that would make the same kind of mistake.

With saturn in the 7th you'll see the worst in other people, and hopefully feel at peace with yourself, and learn from naiveness mistakes. I learned I need to be aware of other people and not project myself onto them, because no matter how good the things I project onto them, if it's not reality it will never turn out to be a good thing. People don't feel good if u expect them to be good, because they might not be used to being good... or not want it.

Also they problably feel ignored if u deal with them in a non realistic way, and they're right. People need to be seen as they are. For me it doesn't come natural to look at someone giving out weird signs and know what's on their minds. I've always thought people were like me. This is what most people will do. naive people. This is a terrible fault for someone on a psych route. It's a distorted form of empathy.

Another big effect of all this was I learned to value really good people. Good men. I've always liked nice boys, but not too nice, that was boring. Now that changed, nice is not boring, it's valuable. I'm so glad this changed, because now I've found a good man, the kind I know I can trust forever.Before i wouldn't be able to deal with all this niceness.
Anyway, Saturn is hard but the lessons are pure gold. =) It's totally worth the tears you cry.

Life

These are my current transits:

Low energies - Saturn opposition Sun: Mid September 2007 until mid June 2008
Elegance and taste - Jupiter conjunction Venus: Mid March 2008 until mid November 2008
Setting sail - Uranus trine Uranus: Beginning of April 2008 until beginning of March 2009
Crazy - Uranus square Moon: Mid April 2008 until mid March 2009
Half-hearted efforts - Neptune conjunction Mars: End of April 2008 until end of November 2010
Pruning your life : Saturn conjunction Saturn: 21 August 2008 until 6 September 2008

Maybe because I'm exhausted... but I feel on the edge... like I won't take crap anymore, from familly...... nevermind other people. This fits the "uranus square moon" description. Hidden tensions coming to surface. I don't feel it's a nervous reaction, like it would be if I was just tired. I feel meditative.
I feel afraid of taking crap from people and loosing my mind, I feel I'll have to choose if that happens. Me, my life, my sanity or letting them have their way. And the choice is easy now. I'm not afraid of consequences anymore. I have backup, and if it fails, then it's not worth hanging on anyway, so it's ok.

On a different subject... (this night has been prolific in bad memories)
I've also been thinking the first and very important lesson this saturn return in the 7th has brought was quite unpleasent but totally necessary, since I was way out of touch with reality. It made me learn the hard way that people can hate me, for one, and not tell me about it. I wasn't aware of that at all. How can people hate me? I'm a people pleaser. I'm nice. My whole familly is nice. not to each other, but to others, yes. I grew up surrounded by very good people, and I learned very late in life about the bad people out there.
So, saturn is in the 7th, exactly conjunct the DC, opposing my sun and mercury. This particular situation was one of those almost movie like scenes, where I was in a public bathroom in school and 2 colleagues came in not knowing I was there, and one of them (which I considered a friend) was trashing me like you couldn't imagine. The other was trying to calm her down. I can't even remember exactly how it felt, it was so traumatic. I remembered I went through a pletora of emotions, confusion, embarrassement, then I became very angry, and defeated at the same time. This was the moment I learned this can happen. People can imagine things about me that are not true. (That was a saturnine person by the way)
Two days before a guy I thought I loved and thought loved me back had left my house never to return, or talk to me again, Because of something aparently harmless I said impulsively. I had been crying so hard I thought I would die. I had just gotten the energy to try and face normal life, try to get my mind off that very disturbing event. And now this. It was felt so intensily. It was marked in my cells. I hardly recall consciently how it felt, but the effects are very much with me to this day, and I'm very very grateful. It made me much more careful, much more self protective, which I wasn't at all before. Valueble lesson.
I also got vaccined against being impulsive in relationships for good. Talk about a saturn in the 7th start. It made me not bare the idea of ending a relationship again, exposing myself to any more people, meeting famillies etc, to have it all end in an impulse. all that could go wrong in relationships did at this time. And I was all ears for saturn...."saturn, please teach me how to never have none of this happen again". I'm wiser now. Oh, this didn't make me hate people more. It made me appreciate some people alot more. Opposites always come together. By becoming aware there are nasty people, I value good people more. I became more realistic in relationships, and it stabilizes me alot. I learned I am the best barometer for finding good people. Now when I'm confused about someones good intentions I ask myself, what would I do in this situation, and usually if it's not what the person did, I don't take too long to figure out what their intention might be.
I wasn't born very perceptive of people's intentions, but I'm learning. I like it. I have pluto, I will survive. It pays to be good, I've always known that. I felt very at peace with myself during that transit. It was pretty intense and complex. I wonder what will happen in august... THE saturn return. o_O

Burning Monk

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thich_Quang_Duc



Born in 1897 – died June 11, 1963


This person was a Vietnamese Mahayana Buddhist monk who burned himself to death at a busy Saigon road intersection on June 11, 1963. He self-immolated in protest for the persecution of Buddhists by South Vietnam's administration. Photos of his self-immolation were circulated widely across the world and brought attention to the policies of the regime. After his death, his body was re-cremated, but his heart remained intact. This was interpreted as a symbol of compassion and led Buddhists to revere him as a bodhisattva, heightening the impact of his death on the public psyche.


Very impressive. "Life's not worth living until you've found something worth dying for".
I read this quote somewhere and never forgot it, because it's so "mars in aquarius" - I thought - working for something bigger then you makes life make sense. This monk makes life make sense by "stating" that the body and the material are illusion, the body is temporary. He died for a cause, a human and spiritual cause. It's worth thinking about. I kind of envy the monk. Don't you?

Rambles

I want to find something new to cook..... urgent. a new pastry.
I just realized today how come I gained 3 kgs in one month. I went off the pill. it makes me loose weight, unlike most people. I'll go back.
I guess this means I don't have to diet as much.

I want to cook somethign exciting. my cookies have reached their peak and are fastly getting worst. It freaks me out.
I have nothing important to say today. so I should be quiet. I'm slightly stressed and needy. I need fresh air.

Amma on Fox News

Amma on ABC Chicago

:)

Amma On CNN

I'm hoping to go see Amma in Spain later this year with my fiance and have her bless us, that will be our marriage, spiritualy. I'm very excited about it.
A friend of mine has been with Amma and says it is a spiritual experience to hug her. The love is palpable even in her videos.

Awakening the Mother

This is a tiny pisces baby we met last week...... I think we connected. Pisces connect alot with each other. See how they swim in flocks? That's what happens. Notice his upset face while with my cancerian man...

Now, notice his peaceful smiling face looking deep in my eyes. Yeah...

Babies are pure spirits. This is what I'm realizing.

I read a couple days ago how a transit of jupiter in the 12th house is good for getting pregnant. It makes sense.. then when jupiter (expansion ) goes on the 1st (how u look) you get huge.

Then today someone on the street gave me a flower for Mother's day... which will be sunday.

All this mother energy going around me. I would actually be happy if I got pregnant now. Not that it's a good time at all. But it rarely is anyway. I want a pisces baby. That means I need to get pregnant in July! :)

Let's see what Ben says about that. :) I love his genes. He loves kids. So far so good.

Botanic Garden

This tree has some kind of plant over it.... it was amazing, so tall! A person could live in there.

I'm chubby, I gained 3 kilos from all the cooking. I kind of like it. But I want to loose 6 kgs. I need to get a grip before the clothes stop fitting.

Amazing ancient trees..

this is actually a bathroom now. Gorgeous one!

My smile was getting old cause Ben decided to wait for the cat to go by, so it would be in the picture. I love this tree and the old building.

Translation

A lovely soul translated the song Pachad for me! And it's as beautiful as I thought, if not more. Here goes:

Fear

a dim fear cover the eyes
i want you to wait for him alone
connecting my hands, and tell me to ask
give me a handwant you to folding to him
want you to wait for him forever
white courage pushing me into the water
want you to get wetcome to me
shining the skys for me
give me a hand, want you to try by yourself
this is the time that you will bloom forever
swim alone now, he says
want you to bloom forever
its time that you figure out who you are
give me a hand, give me a hand, give me a hand,
want you to try by yourself
this is the time that you will bloom forever
swim alone now, he says
want you to bloom forever
its time that you figure out who you are
who are you? who are you? who are you?

It seems she's talking about the symbolism of learning how to swim, taking a risk and finding who she is, outside de parents grip. I love it. Swiming is one of my favorite things. I feel it defines me too. It makes me bloom and feel totally free.

mix pix

Inside the famous building! :) The 120 year old bookstore in downtown Lisbon.

Outside de bookstore.

Largo de Camões, this picture was taken from inside the brazilian consulate, where I had to go this morning. Nice view.

Portinho da Arrábida. This is the closest to paradise I've seen. These mountains are magical, alot of peaceful energy. they have ancient convents and monasteries sprinkled around.

A fox. It was very relaxed.. Maybe desoriented. She stared at me while I was trying to get the camera to work.

Yael Naim - Pachad

This is one of my favorite songs. I don't know what she's saying, but here are the hebrew lyrics:

pahad amoom otef et ha-enaym
rotze shetehakee lo levad
kosher li tayadaym, omer teethaninee
ten li yad
rotze shetetkapli elahv
rotze shetehakee lo la-ad

ometz lavan dohef oti lamaym
rotze sheteratvee
bo elai
meir li et hashamaym

omer ahshav tesshi
ten li yad
rotze shetenasi levad
hegia zman shetifrehi la-ad

omer ahshav tesshi levad
rotze shetenasi la-ad
hegia zman shetegali mi at

ten li yad... ten li yad...

ten li yad
rotze shetenasi levad
hegia zman shetifrehi la-ad

omer ahshav tesshi levad
rotze shetifrehi la-ad
hegia zman shetegali mi at

mi at.. mi at

Yael Naim | New Soul

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOOVEE this song and many others she sings!

This is what she says about this song:
“a new soul, in this foreign world, hoping to learn a little”? “It was when I was really young that I sincerely believed to be an old soul reincarnated and I could even say it gave me a sense of superiority over others. But then as I subsequently did everything the wrong way round I concluded that it was actually my first time on earth and that I should learn to be a more humble.”

It's very pisces-aries shift! My progressed sun entered aries this year. (this happens once every 350+ years)
It's a shift from the last sign to the first. From "divine" caos, merging with All, utter fog, total sense of "been there done that", bah, to being primal, thirsty for life, directed, instinctive, genuine, fiery, naive, babyiesh. this would be the archetypal change from pisces to aries. It wasn't nearly as extreme but I identify so much with this song. Old souls learning to be new ones, letting go of the past, being simple.
The video is so cool. The beauty of accepting the destruction of the past and welcoming the new.

Lisbon - Chiado

This is old Lisbon. It's pretty, isn't it?

The Artist's retreat

I spent this day with my friend Nuno Afonso =) check out his website:

http://www.agrios.blogspot.com/

He is an old soul. I love him. I think he is a genious. His paintings and sculptures are for sale, you can contact him on the website if you're interested. Just don't buy Quis ut Deus (means Who is like God?) , I want that one! I'll buy it when I'm not so poor. It's mt favorite painting in the world. I'm kidding, u can buy it. He can make more. I love them all.

Little retreat

Memories of a day spent at with a friend, cooking bagels and turkish delights, and watching ants carry their food around..... Aaah!... the simple life. =)

Lead the Way

I'm feeling like doing a "dear blog" post.
I'd like to share about my life. (for once something totally different haha) It's been a bit about paperwork and trying to decide wether to move to florida or california, or anywhere else.. getting stuff ready to ask for a visa for my boyfriend/fiance, finding my birth certificate. Looking at jobs for people with my education on craiglist, trying to figure what's out there, looking at house prices.... It's not like I have someone advising me about things, or having life plans all set out for me wether i like it or not, like I'm more used to. Sometimes I feel that would actually be welcome now. I'm having to decide wether to take more risk or less risk. I would love to live near San Francisco. It's so me. But i'm also really tired of big cities, and it would be really really expensive there. Being me is expensive. :) Joking.

The big city thing is complicated, because in fact I just miss silence, and being in a beautiful place with no other or few people. And I'd rather be in a good neighbourhood. I loved experiencing that in Florida. And growing up. Being in a bad neighbourhood is not fun, especially for a pisces or someone that tends to blend with the context. It's not stimulating. People tend to be stupid.. that's the truth. I don't mean being poor means being stupid but it does tend to go like that =( I hope this doesn't sound like a bitch capricorn venus talking. Big cities are stimulating. They CAN make u smarter. They CAN make you a better person, because you actually get to live your life and not worry about what neighbours will think or say. Living in a small place you get no such liberty. without liberty there's no creativity, no life. So in cities u get to make mistakes and learn from them. This makes u a better and more loving person. You'll need that once you have to educate your kids to live in a dangerous place. In the islands people are rough, they know litle about how to treat kids, so kids get married as soon as they can to escape.. or they run away. Maybe they'll step on cow shit on the way. That's the worst that can happen there. In a city they'll get killed or be abused in some way for sure.

About the smartness part, the brain is a muscle too. Mine has changed dramatically since living in a tiny island in the Atlantic and moving to a big city and all it implied. Actually after living for 20 years in a village with 200 people, and enjoying it somewhat, it doesn't scare me much to do such a change eventually. But I don't really see my BF doing that, he's a uranian type too. 12th house, but conj the asc. Our needs are very similar there.
As I was trying to say, I'm just tired of lack of quality of life in cities. But if u live in a good neighbourhood, you have the best of both worlds. If u don't have the money for it, be frugal and creative until u do.
this is the advise I'm giving myself and bf, though he doesn't need advice, he's been amazing with all this. Have I mentioned I love him more each day? We have saturn trining our ASC, and I sure feel it. It gets better with time.
We're praying God will open doors and show us the way. We will have enough help I think, from familly and maybe friends, but we need to know what it is that we want. How high to aim...
This reminds me of my astrology consultation..... learning to make saturn my sun's servant. telling him what it is that I want, asking him how to get it. Maybe that is my saturn return's lesson. I'll have the exact return in august.

(Photo is an "Art Car" in San Francisco"! "We're going to san francisco, lallalalal :) )