Enema day

Seems like today is a good day to talk about how I feel

according to my favorite online horoscope (That's soulgarden, on youtube). Not only me, but all Pisces! Yes....sun sign astrology. Ir works sometimes. I've figured how it works, each sun sign is put on house one.

For pisces that makes aries be in house 2, house of personal values and self esteem, house 3 in taurus..house of comunication, etc. So today the moon is in taurus, in pisces' house of comunication = a good day to talk about our piscean feelings.

I feel bummed out mostly, a bit unconfortable in the world lately, having weird days and wanting to check out. Feeling intoxicated... I'm looking forward to doing a coffee enema today, for the first time! Hoping it will help me detox and feel more alive and awake. I've been reading alot about it. Here's a good link if you're interested: http://www.enapure.com/bottom_of_it.html

I can't wait to do it. I need to go buy the enema at the pharmacy. I've never done it, but feel ready. I'm determined to make it a good experience. I'll have nice music on. And be lying confortably for the 15 minutes. I'm supposed to lay on my right side for that long before I use the bathroom, after having the coffee pour inside the colon. The coffee will meanwhile stimulate the bile and make it pour out into the colon all the toxins in my body hopefully. That's what the doctor said it would do. This is a very taurean subject.

I've done a detox in brazil once. a couple of times actually. and it included colon cleansing as soon as we'd arrive, we had to drink magnesium sulfate in a bit of water and then drink alot of water and it all went to the colon and that washed everything. Truely. I had clean water coming out at one point. This was because I had been there for 21 days, on 400 cal a day, organic vegetarian food, then i left the clinic for 3 days and when I came back I had to take the magnesium sulfate again, but I was still clean, so I had clean water coming from my colon. I hope this isn't graphic in your mind. It isn't in mine. Anyway, now to the good part. My skin has fortunatly never been bad, but it was absolutly perfect then. I felt great. I would eat half a grape or whatever we were allowed to eat at a meal, and 2 hours later, I'd have a bowel movement. Like a clock. Like a baby, or a puppy. That's how it's supposed to be.

I lost 15 kilos in a month there, this was pre bypass surgery. It was very violent psychologically, I was there all alone and it was a religious institution, very freaky one at that. And had a stupid doctor call my father an tell him I wasn't trying hard enough! All because he asked me how I was doing and I was honest, I told him it was hard and I felt the clinic was strange. He didn't like that I guess. I changed to a wonderful cuban doctor after that. I actually kind of fell in love with him, and that gave me strengh to be there.

It was one of the hardest things I've done though. Much harder then anything i've gone though after the gastric bypass. But in the midst of it all, I do remember my skin looking amazing, and not having strange pain or feeling sluggish like I do now, etc. And having energy to get up at 6 am and doing a 2 hour walk, then 2 hours of hidrogymnastics, all in one morning! and in the afternoon taking 1 hour hikes and doing more gymnastics and sometimes playing tennis! Oh, and walking on a treadmill late in the evening.

That was extreme. Some days I did all that. And I wasn't eating. I was doing a juice diet for 2 weeks, but with all the fast weight loss I felt a constant nausea and sometimes couldn't eat at all. That was a 400 cal a day, but somedays I must have been at 200. You need 1000 a day just to make your vital organs function. Have I mentioned how violent it was? it was crazy really. But I learned some good things.

I really really really want to feel good and fit everyday. I want to create a healthy routine for me. I want to be as healthy as ever.

Also I've been feeling a very strong need to express me. My voice, my truth. And ONLY that. This is my saturn opposite mercury I think. I want it badly. I feel so frustrated to see things and not have a voice, not be able to express how I see things. I want to find a way to do it. I don't know how though. I mean, I'm not talking about writing, I want to speak. Speaking is a problem for me. Organizing thoughts. I have mercury in pisces square neptune. I think in images and feelings, confusing ones. and it takes me a while, some times days, to be able to translate them to words. I want to work on this more intensively. Don't know how though.

On a different subject, today in the azores we celebrate girl friends day. Last week was boy friends day. So today all the girls get together, no men allowed, and go party. The local tv station usually reports it. should be fun.

I'll go get ready for my enema. :P I'll let you know how it worked later.

ps- don't know why but I haven't been able to publish this with proper paragraphs! It's so cluttered like this.....:/

let me try some html

hello

tralala