Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Being grateful

I was laying on the couch... after another works day, feeling bored and like life doesn't make a whole lot of sense...
I decided to get my butt of the couch and of the house and go for a stroll on my bike. Going around the corner i saw a 2 year old boy running naked and his mom after him, i smiled. The boredom started to lift a bit. I started realizing I don't feel happiness. And i started to wonder why. I finally have everything i need to be happy, dont I?
I am confortable with my body, my weight, after a life long struggle with that. I am able to live by myself in a nice place, able to ride a bike in a beautiful place, with nice houses and lovely trees... the temperature is perfect.. I see cats laying around on the grass... I start feeling better. more relaxed. I start to worry that if I cant feel totally happy right now, i never will. I am sure of that. Then i realize / remember the secret to happiness is to be grateful for things. Its all about perspective.
I start singing "give thanks with a grateful heart" as i stroll in the bike... -"wish i had a nice voice.. wish i could actually sing... then i'd be happier much easier. ugh, back to being thankful for the good things.." - I start giving thanks for the nice weather, the bike, my healthy body, for cats, for birds i see, for my blond arm hairs... for the trees...etc. I realize i will never be happy by having material things, if thats all there is in my life. I need to learn to be happy. This insight has been building up in the last days. And it was a bit scary to realize it because for a few minutes it seemed it was out of my control to be happy or not. I felt alot better after doing this exercise of gratefulness.As I strolled around looking at the houses, sometimes glimpsing people inside them doing whatever, or watering their lawns, i wondered if they are happy, and I wondered if i would be happy having that life, by that i just mean having their house which is all i know about how their life is. No, I wouldnt, i realized. If that's all i had, i'd be even emptier, i'd be desilusioned and farther away from it. I wonder if u understand what im talking about. I think people that have dreams and wants are the happiest. I guess its because once u get it, it soon looses its power to make u happy.
I asked myself how do other people do it. how are they happy? they have famillies, was what came to mind imediatly. they have kids. and I pondered on that notion... kids are happy. u can be happy for them. happy for making them happy. happy to ignore your saturn, your "age", your lack of life outside of them. thats a totally valid thing to do. it really is. life is what you put your mind to think/see it is. There's saturn, but theres also jupiter, sun, etc, they are all part of life. none more valid than the other.
I think i would be happy if i was able to have friends over at my house alot, and being involved in my community.
I'm happy when im making other people happy. When they enjoy the food i make and being in my house. Happy when i have puppies and sometimes cats. Happy around beauty. Happy when i'm growing and learning, becoming better.
I'll keep working on it...


Anonymous said...

Hi babe! I think being happy can have multiple setups but generally it depends on two things:

1. Having a purpose for your life.

Most people have a purpose like having kids, others to fulfill professional objectives or reach certain goals, others to help / service the community, etc.
So the first thing to do is to figure out what purpose you want to give to your life.

2. Being Yourself and growing inside

Many people live to create a superficial image to show to others and even though they might seem happy, they are actually miserable inside and can't stand being alone.

When we are ourselves most of the time, we tend to feel security. Our concepts our ideals they should all come from within and not from other sources. Only then we are truly ourselves.

Finding someone to share your life for example relies a lot in the ability of being able to be yourself with the other person. I had the luck of experiencing such feeling and swore never to forget it so I can recognize it when I find the right person.

Being ourselves also protects us from external negativity and social pressure. It means we have a mind of our own and stick with our beliefs.

Do realize that even though being ourselves is great, we have to be open to change into growing and improving our ideals & concepts.
Sticking with our beliefs is fine but not if the behavior ends up to be self-destructive.

I learned to avoid self-destructivity and try to improve myself solely based on that concept.
This means when I feel like reacting negative, remind myself to stop and think "Is there a better way to react? How?" and then react the better way. This greatly improved my relationship with others and my professional attitude.

As a general rule, any negative emotional reaction is bad. Sometimes I feel revolted about unfair things and just feel like blowing but at the same time know it won't take me anywhere good neither it is a good way to react.
Lack of self-control is a weakness.

I hope my ramblings enlighten you.


Devil Mood said...

It can be a constant struggle for some people, while it seems to come naturally for the rest of them.
Anyway, happiness is an american obsession. Obviously everyone wants to be happy or to feel good, at least, but the obsessive pursuit of happiness is not the way to go, I believe.
I was reading a book about that but I gave it up..haha ;)

Anonymous said...

Yep being obsessive about it is not a good thing either.

Well... being obsessive about anything too I guess... :)

I think most people only find up to a certain level of happiness.

If you focus on following a constructive path in your life, you should find happiness somewhere along the way. Or shall I say... it should find you!

deepbluewater said...

hi there :) long time no see!

Mais uma vez vais ouvir-me dizer :
" a felicidade está naquilo que tu tens, e não no que não tens..."
levar uma vida buscando o infinito da felicidade, não me parece felicidade!... mas se aos poucos tomarmos consciência de tudo o que já conseguimos, aí sim , vamos sentirmo-nos mais contentes, mais leves do peso que uma dia projectámos sem sabermos ainda muito bem o que realmento nos faz sentir feliz.

bjocas, espero ver-te em breve ;)