Sunday, December 23, 2007

Pluto moon conjunction

I thought it might be worth copying here a text I wrote on, someone asked about experiences with pluto-moon conjunction. This transits happens once every 2 hundred and some years, so lots of people never go throught it in their lifetime. I did, 2 years ago. Here's how it was.

For me it was a clear rebirth of the Feminin, accepting the yin in me. I also have moon conj neptune in the 11th, sextile natal pluto in the 8th.

My conjunction was 2 years ago. I did powerful inner child work in therapy at that time. I found my inner child, it felt like I was adopting a very traumatized child, taking it in my life and learning to heal it. We talked in a meditative state of conscience, I learned I had an abandonment trauma, from early on.. I asked her to show me how it started and then I regressed in time. I saw myself as baby laying on a kitchen counter wearing only dipers, feeling cold and had a pain in my abdomen problably from crying so much. This baby was feeling utterly betrayed by the parents, like she had a compromise with them that they would take care of her, and they failed it. I was amazed that this tiny baby had such an expanded conscience of what was happening, it was so intense and spiritual. I cried alot, my body ached for days after this. By far the most intense experience in my life.

I remember the first time the therapist lead me to my inner child, and we talked, and then we said goodbye, he told me to tell her i would be back, and I did, and she didn't beleive me and was so sad I was leaving. :( She was right, I really didn't want to go back. It wasn't pretty. She was dirty, lifeless and greyish... When I gave her attention she began to shine.

Very soon after, I began to learn to love her fragility, her vulnerability which i had rejected in me since forever. Problably because of the traumatic experience I've told. I didn't like children either. All that was very blocked in me. As my "virtual" relationship with the child evolved she become so beautiful, and I become very aware of the need to protect myself more, and accept being here, incarnated. Accepting my mortality.

This process was pretty magical. there would be alot more to tell. I totally changed as a person. I began to love myself. I accepted the yin in me. And that's how I found once you love yourself, you love other people too. Automatically.

Also a week after this, I had a gastric (moon) bypass (pluto) which allowed me to loose over 100 pounds. If I hadn't accepted the yin in me, I would have a very hard time feeling ok in a smaller body. It was hard but magical and divine. It was extremely productive. I'd take pluto transits over saturns any day. =) So, don't be afraid of pluto. Think of the lotus flower. That grows in the mud, and then becomes such a beautiful pure white flower. don't be afraid of the dark. It will surprise you in a good way if you are willing to let go of illusions.

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