Thursday, December 20, 2007

Gymnopédie No.1

I did get a cold. Some fever too, but i'm better now. Just laying around, trying to not get worse.

I'm very bored, lonely and kinda depressed. I want to go back home.
This hasn't been a great week so far. I'm crying very easily lately, but i think it may be because i'm feverish. I get more emotional. Not sad, just emotional.
E.g. I saw something on tv today about kids living in institutions, and it was nice, they were happy, succeding in school and their goals. I got so emotional I cried. I was happy. It's nice to see people that go through so much hard stuff so soon in life and they move on and succeed, find love, and direction in life. Also if my bf says he misses me i get all teary. I'm getting teary right now. Lots of emotions. I'm like a pregnant woman. Emotional rolercoaster. It's interesting though. And healthy. To get a chance to welcome emotions whatever they are. That's something I didn't do for too long.
I'm a bit sad because I've lost connection with the people I grew up with, going off to school far away. I don't belong here anymore. This isn't new. But makes me sad.
It's not like i wish I was friendly with everyone. I don't have the energy for that, or the motivation, socializing is exausting sometimes.
... be back later.

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