I went to see the movie Sex and the city tonight. I loved it.
At some point near the end, in a sort of conclusion, Sarah says "we write our own vows for a marriage, why don't we make our own rules?"
and this reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago, when i started to feel the first saturn in the 7th influences, and I started thinking about relationships. I actually made a blog dedicated to thinking about it. I never did write much there. I wondered why do people enter relationships without discussing or agreeing with wich rules they want to live by, why not adapt to each other whatever rules makes both happier.
It does take a minimum of emotional health to do it, but most people have that potential. to adapt and learn, and forgive, and start again, understand.
I started to think about this because I knew too many guys that lied to their girlfriends about things they needed in a relationship but never told them about it, because they weren't "acceptable" to the girls. Then i wondered why would a guy accept to be in a relationship were the rules she accepts are not rules he knows he can live happily by. it's never an honest relationship, it's always a lie, and my sag moon just thinks that's so obviously not-a-way-to-get-anywhere-good that I just don't understand it, it's beyond me. And so I decided to just worry about my own relationships and what I can do to make them honest and real.
So in this movie the girls were following rules that weren't their own and it made them miserable and then that changed and things fell into place.
Why do people take for granted rules that aren't their own in such personal things as relationships?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
How to Deal With Unreasonables
This is from wikihow... it was helpful for me.
Here's the types of unreasonables and how to deal with them:
The Arguer - Argues frequently, often for no reason whatsoever.Arguers will often have little idea what they're talking about, but once they say something, they won't give up, insisting that they're right and you are an idiot, even if they have been proven wrong, but they just don't want to admit it.
The Explosive - Freak out at the tiniest thing, making you feel like a moron.Explosives are a bit of a variation from Arguers. They will argue a lot, but more violently, sometimes yelling or hitting until you cave. Explosives don't usually lash out at people they don't know well, but they can sometimes.
The passive-agressive - They won't argue, but still very unreasonable. Makes you feel guilty or stupid without directly showing it.They use body language to show you they're angry, and that you are in big trouble. Often they will try to pretend like they're not angry, but you know.
How to deal with each one:
In the case of Arguers: if they say something wrong, and you want to correct them, or say something that may start an argument, think to yourself: Is being right really important right now? Is this an issue really worth getting into a big hubbub about? A lot of the time, the answer will be no, and in this case, I would let it go, ignore, it, or, just agree. Would it really matter if you're wrong a few times?
In the case of explosives: try to use the arguer strategy before they get out of control. This isn't always possible, sometimes an Explosive can catch you off guard when you thought there was nothing wrong. If they do get into a screaming spree, sometimes, it will still work to just agree, give in, just make sure you don't do it in a way that seems passive-aggressive, this drives explosives nuts. Avoid any arguments after this point, because while an explosive is calming down, he/she is still a ticking bomb. The tiniest of things could set him/her off, he/she may even be looking for things to get mad about. Just pretend that nothing is wrong. Act like they are having a civil conversation, but don't make a point of it. If you seem to obviously ignoring the outburst, this comes out as very passive-aggressive. Remove all emotions from your being. Don't react to their explosions. Don't act angry, scared, happy, sad, or even some degrees of nonchalant. Just be after a while, your unreasonable may get bored of the fact that he/she is getting no reaction from you. This helps things.
In the case of passive-aggressives: it is a first reaction to get angry. Passive-aggression is meant to make a person tick, meant to hit them hard. It's hard, sometimes to ignore this, because it makes people so angry, but you need to put real effort into it. You shouldn't strike back with passive-aggression, because that would just make things much worse for you. Act nonchalant to their aggression. Act like you don't get that they're angry. Try to lighten the mood, even. Don't laugh, though, don't get 'happy' all of a sudden, this'll make your unreasonable very angry. Just change the subject. If you can get to a lighter topic, you might be able to switch him/her to a happier mind set, which is definitely a plus.
I know all three types. The arguer is the witch neighbour. the explosive is my father, and the passive agressive let's call her D.R.N.
Astrologically there's not alot to say about the arguer, they just have a messed up mars-mercury going on and not alot in their lifes to inspire them, or let's be real about it, they have litle ability to be inspired, they have tiny souls and tiny minds.
The explosives could be people with venus in scorpio, which is the case I know. Scorpio moons tend to be like that a bit too. This is because scorpio venus and moon crave intensity and action. So I loved how the way to deal with them is to bore them, by frustrating them. This is what I learned do early on in my life, to deal with my father problably. Hence my aqua rising which is good for poker faces. It can have the same result as a passive agressive when dealing with an arguer, because by not reacting, by being neutral, the arguer gets to project whatever crap they have inside, and so they may get madder, they're insecurities grow stronger. This is true as a reaction for arguers only though. For explosives I agree that it works well. Which is a good sign for them. I think it means they are rational somewhat.
Passive agressors are typically people with mars -venus stuff, like mars in libra and mars in the 7th house. they can be very sick if they're not aware of their intentions. sometimes they are and are just too 'coward' (i don't mean to offend, i really prefer passive agressives to brutal agressives because you can actually comunicate and try to figure what's wrong, though i have to say it does end up to be "unreasonable") to act any other way. They tend to get a kick out of pushing people's buttons, they live their mars (anger, agression) vicariously through others this way.
Besides DRN, my mother has this, and I think she has no idea about it. She has never reflected upon herself and found that she gets a kick out of mad people, maybe because she atracts people pathologically angry and no sain person would enjoy that, so i beleive it's very blocked in her subconscient.
Now imagine my parents together. they've both got venus in scorpio so they get out of it alive, or reborn might be the word. scorpio dies and reborns all the time.
I'm really glad I know astrology, and know i have a different energy and I'm not at risk of getting into this type of thing. Not as bad as this at least. I've lived my venus square pluto consciently and learned from it fast enough. and my saturn venus connections are harmonious, beautiful trines. they make me beleive people that are mean to me love me, that's why they're mean to me, also, they're mean because they're a bit sick in the mind, but that doesn't mean they can't love. :) Also I get to choose to not be around them if I don't want to deal with their type of hard love. So it's good.
What are your venus issues and how do u deal with them?
Here's the types of unreasonables and how to deal with them:
The Arguer - Argues frequently, often for no reason whatsoever.Arguers will often have little idea what they're talking about, but once they say something, they won't give up, insisting that they're right and you are an idiot, even if they have been proven wrong, but they just don't want to admit it.
The Explosive - Freak out at the tiniest thing, making you feel like a moron.Explosives are a bit of a variation from Arguers. They will argue a lot, but more violently, sometimes yelling or hitting until you cave. Explosives don't usually lash out at people they don't know well, but they can sometimes.
The passive-agressive - They won't argue, but still very unreasonable. Makes you feel guilty or stupid without directly showing it.They use body language to show you they're angry, and that you are in big trouble. Often they will try to pretend like they're not angry, but you know.
How to deal with each one:
In the case of Arguers: if they say something wrong, and you want to correct them, or say something that may start an argument, think to yourself: Is being right really important right now? Is this an issue really worth getting into a big hubbub about? A lot of the time, the answer will be no, and in this case, I would let it go, ignore, it, or, just agree. Would it really matter if you're wrong a few times?
In the case of explosives: try to use the arguer strategy before they get out of control. This isn't always possible, sometimes an Explosive can catch you off guard when you thought there was nothing wrong. If they do get into a screaming spree, sometimes, it will still work to just agree, give in, just make sure you don't do it in a way that seems passive-aggressive, this drives explosives nuts. Avoid any arguments after this point, because while an explosive is calming down, he/she is still a ticking bomb. The tiniest of things could set him/her off, he/she may even be looking for things to get mad about. Just pretend that nothing is wrong. Act like they are having a civil conversation, but don't make a point of it. If you seem to obviously ignoring the outburst, this comes out as very passive-aggressive. Remove all emotions from your being. Don't react to their explosions. Don't act angry, scared, happy, sad, or even some degrees of nonchalant. Just be after a while, your unreasonable may get bored of the fact that he/she is getting no reaction from you. This helps things.
In the case of passive-aggressives: it is a first reaction to get angry. Passive-aggression is meant to make a person tick, meant to hit them hard. It's hard, sometimes to ignore this, because it makes people so angry, but you need to put real effort into it. You shouldn't strike back with passive-aggression, because that would just make things much worse for you. Act nonchalant to their aggression. Act like you don't get that they're angry. Try to lighten the mood, even. Don't laugh, though, don't get 'happy' all of a sudden, this'll make your unreasonable very angry. Just change the subject. If you can get to a lighter topic, you might be able to switch him/her to a happier mind set, which is definitely a plus.
I know all three types. The arguer is the witch neighbour. the explosive is my father, and the passive agressive let's call her D.R.N.
Astrologically there's not alot to say about the arguer, they just have a messed up mars-mercury going on and not alot in their lifes to inspire them, or let's be real about it, they have litle ability to be inspired, they have tiny souls and tiny minds.
The explosives could be people with venus in scorpio, which is the case I know. Scorpio moons tend to be like that a bit too. This is because scorpio venus and moon crave intensity and action. So I loved how the way to deal with them is to bore them, by frustrating them. This is what I learned do early on in my life, to deal with my father problably. Hence my aqua rising which is good for poker faces. It can have the same result as a passive agressive when dealing with an arguer, because by not reacting, by being neutral, the arguer gets to project whatever crap they have inside, and so they may get madder, they're insecurities grow stronger. This is true as a reaction for arguers only though. For explosives I agree that it works well. Which is a good sign for them. I think it means they are rational somewhat.
Passive agressors are typically people with mars -venus stuff, like mars in libra and mars in the 7th house. they can be very sick if they're not aware of their intentions. sometimes they are and are just too 'coward' (i don't mean to offend, i really prefer passive agressives to brutal agressives because you can actually comunicate and try to figure what's wrong, though i have to say it does end up to be "unreasonable") to act any other way. They tend to get a kick out of pushing people's buttons, they live their mars (anger, agression) vicariously through others this way.
Besides DRN, my mother has this, and I think she has no idea about it. She has never reflected upon herself and found that she gets a kick out of mad people, maybe because she atracts people pathologically angry and no sain person would enjoy that, so i beleive it's very blocked in her subconscient.
Now imagine my parents together. they've both got venus in scorpio so they get out of it alive, or reborn might be the word. scorpio dies and reborns all the time.
I'm really glad I know astrology, and know i have a different energy and I'm not at risk of getting into this type of thing. Not as bad as this at least. I've lived my venus square pluto consciently and learned from it fast enough. and my saturn venus connections are harmonious, beautiful trines. they make me beleive people that are mean to me love me, that's why they're mean to me, also, they're mean because they're a bit sick in the mind, but that doesn't mean they can't love. :) Also I get to choose to not be around them if I don't want to deal with their type of hard love. So it's good.
What are your venus issues and how do u deal with them?
Monday, June 02, 2008
Microcosmos
I love staring at ant nests, I get hypnotized. As I walking the dog a couple days ago. I found one and was looking at it while the dog peed somewhere near it, then the dog started to scratch the dirt as to cover the pee and lots of dirt went over the nest. A tragedy, similar to a tsunami or a big earthquake was hitting that nest.
And I wondered if the ants would be thinking "Why would God allow such a tragedy to happen to us good working beings? what kind of world is this where awful things happen with no apparent reason? There is no God!"
Isn't that what people think when a tragedy hits their lifes?
Maybe God is constructing itself through us, and whatever choices we make, by for example, killing bugs because they are in our way, similar things will happen to us sooner or later, we'll be on the way of something bigger.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)