Saturday, June 28, 2008

Rules in love

I went to see the movie Sex and the city tonight. I loved it.
At some point near the end, in a sort of conclusion, Sarah says "we write our own vows for a marriage, why don't we make our own rules?"
and this reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago, when i started to feel the first saturn in the 7th influences, and I started thinking about relationships. I actually made a blog dedicated to thinking about it. I never did write much there. I wondered why do people enter relationships without discussing or agreeing with wich rules they want to live by, why not adapt to each other whatever rules makes both happier.
It does take a minimum of emotional health to do it, but most people have that potential. to adapt and learn, and forgive, and start again, understand.
I started to think about this because I knew too many guys that lied to their girlfriends about things they needed in a relationship but never told them about it, because they weren't "acceptable" to the girls. Then i wondered why would a guy accept to be in a relationship were the rules she accepts are not rules he knows he can live happily by. it's never an honest relationship, it's always a lie, and my sag moon just thinks that's so obviously not-a-way-to-get-anywhere-good that I just don't understand it, it's beyond me. And so I decided to just worry about my own relationships and what I can do to make them honest and real.

So in this movie the girls were following rules that weren't their own and it made them miserable and then that changed and things fell into place.
Why do people take for granted rules that aren't their own in such personal things as relationships?


Devil Mood said...

That's a very good point. The truth is people can have really different perspectives on relationships and what they want from them and it makes perfect sense that these should be put over the table and discussed.
But, at the same time, when relationships begin there's usually a lot of romanticism and idealism and people don't want to have serious discussions like these, they simply believe that when there's love people will adjust and be happy---such a lie!! ;P

Violet said...

yes, most people do that. I tend to fall in love more rationally then most, certain conditions must be met first, or else I know it won't last so not much point in getting hurt for nothing.