Monday, April 14, 2008

Nostalgic ramblings

I'm nostalgic of convents and monasteries......
I've always loved them. They're cozy and peaceful.... so, so peaceful. I miss it. I wonder when and where have I experienced that before.
I'm having a flash back of the scent of my grandmother's cellar... the floor was beaten ground, no cement.. the smell was totally unique.. a mix of rat poison ( I never heard of someone with a rat phobia worst then her's) and blue soap... she washed clothes there, by a window in a thing like this http://cache02.stormap.sapo.pt/fotostore02/fotos//f2/31/e4/304755_gvNiK.jpeg, .... the place was packed with old stuff to the ceiling. and it was very dark inside. That house crashed in an earthwake in 98....it's abandoned now. I wonder if it still smells the same. Outside there was a "Eira", a circle of cement with a short wall around it, it was used to work with cereal.. they beat the cereal with sticks to take the skin out or whatever. I think I saw it done once, with dried beans. But mostly it was used by kids to play. My grandmother had a beautiful garden, she won a few awards for it. Nearby there was a land that grew strawberries..... I'm having tiny flashbacks... of strawberries and flowers . Actually I remember it all easily now. I was very happy there. My grandmother used to make white corn bread.....in a huge container.. I made tiny balls with the raw dough and ate it. I remember the taste, it was warm, doughie..hard to explain. We ate alot of "milk soup" wich was simply hot milk with corn bread in pieces and pieces of boiled yams with salt. it is delicious.
I remembered she cooked me something once, with boiled eggs and bread and I loved it, I ate so much I threw up.That wasn't a rare thing in childhood.. Food and me. It's a love-hate relationship.
I gained 2 kgs recently. I've been eating bagels with cream cheese and cookies non stop. I cooked alot today. delicious things. I'm still wondering when the cooking thing will go away. I'm so glad it hasn't though.

I've noticed some very nice older women feel a bit unconfortable about the fact I cook. They feel put down by it, kind of like they need to compete when in fact they hate cooking. It has made me remember just how much people expect from women. Childbirth and being a perfect cook is just too much to ask for, I agree.
I've also been thinking about how the bible says that women were cursed because of Eve's sin... they were cursed to being in pain in childbirth. It is clear that because of it women are supposed to be inferior.. the rib thing doesn't help. (Eve was created out of Adam's rib)
This issue makes me think alot every once in a while, women vs men. They're definatly different. but in the end, complementary.
I need to sleep....

11 comments:

Devil Mood said...

Does the bible say women were cursed with the pain of childbirth? That's awful!
Aren't there bibles re-written by women? If there aren't, there definitely should be.

I wonder if those women resent your cooking because they think you're young and you should be the working outside of the house type and leave the cooking talents to them...

Hmmmm broa :)
Tb me lembro da minha mãe fazer pão e era um cheirinho maravilhoso.

Violet said...

yes, genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

no further comments on that.

About the women, I'm remembering two of them, and one is very successful in her job, the other one is much older and she's successful too, as a person, mother etc...
I don't think that was it, it's just they wish they were more homey I think, they have beautifull families and all. I don't know. When u have kids to feed and husband cooking takes a different dimention. I think the reasons may be very different though.
I envy/admire loads of things they are and do too.

Violet said...

I meant, different reasons for each women.

Devil Mood said...

I think most women are just mean to each other but it all comes down to the fact that they're insecure in their roles (it's hard to be secure when you have so many!) and so they tend to envy others and not want them to be better than them in anything.

Violet said...

Yes, that's totally right.
They have in common being very demanding on themselves. As I am to myself.
Anyway..... fortunatly my future hubby is pretty perfect himself, so I won't have to exceed myself too much. I'm not happy under stress. =)

Devil Mood said...

You're a lucky girl, don't encourage my envious side, okay? lol

Violet said...

:D
thank u.
You know, envy has had a positive role in my life so far. I've envied heavily a few people. I've suffered. And they were very inspiring for me, to push myself harder, reach my potential. But not in the sense of wishing them harm...as models to copy and to learn from, directly and indirectly.

Devil Mood said...

Yes, I understand :)

chrispito said...

hello you two. violet it's been a while since i visited and i'm fascinated by your writing. whoa! i wanted to eavesdrop and talk about jealousy. i have been, a lot in my life. it's the closest feeling i attribute to childhood. jealousy=childhood. i wonder what we all identify nostalgia with? hunger? annoyance? dreams?

Violet said...

thank u chris =)
I get nostalgic with beauty and nice things.
do u mean you miss jeoulosy?

in portugal we have a word for being nostalgic "saudade". means to miss or be nostalgic about something/someone.

chrispito said...

no i don't miss jealousy :)
i was a child who was very sad and jealous, so when i have memories of childhood, that overriding emotion of feeling like i was 'missing something' is remembered, too.