Monday, April 21, 2008

Lead the Way

I'm feeling like doing a "dear blog" post.
I'd like to share about my life. (for once something totally different haha) It's been a bit about paperwork and trying to decide wether to move to florida or california, or anywhere else.. getting stuff ready to ask for a visa for my boyfriend/fiance, finding my birth certificate. Looking at jobs for people with my education on craiglist, trying to figure what's out there, looking at house prices.... It's not like I have someone advising me about things, or having life plans all set out for me wether i like it or not, like I'm more used to. Sometimes I feel that would actually be welcome now. I'm having to decide wether to take more risk or less risk. I would love to live near San Francisco. It's so me. But i'm also really tired of big cities, and it would be really really expensive there. Being me is expensive. :) Joking.

The big city thing is complicated, because in fact I just miss silence, and being in a beautiful place with no other or few people. And I'd rather be in a good neighbourhood. I loved experiencing that in Florida. And growing up. Being in a bad neighbourhood is not fun, especially for a pisces or someone that tends to blend with the context. It's not stimulating. People tend to be stupid.. that's the truth. I don't mean being poor means being stupid but it does tend to go like that =( I hope this doesn't sound like a bitch capricorn venus talking. Big cities are stimulating. They CAN make u smarter. They CAN make you a better person, because you actually get to live your life and not worry about what neighbours will think or say. Living in a small place you get no such liberty. without liberty there's no creativity, no life. So in cities u get to make mistakes and learn from them. This makes u a better and more loving person. You'll need that once you have to educate your kids to live in a dangerous place. In the islands people are rough, they know litle about how to treat kids, so kids get married as soon as they can to escape.. or they run away. Maybe they'll step on cow shit on the way. That's the worst that can happen there. In a city they'll get killed or be abused in some way for sure.

About the smartness part, the brain is a muscle too. Mine has changed dramatically since living in a tiny island in the Atlantic and moving to a big city and all it implied. Actually after living for 20 years in a village with 200 people, and enjoying it somewhat, it doesn't scare me much to do such a change eventually. But I don't really see my BF doing that, he's a uranian type too. 12th house, but conj the asc. Our needs are very similar there.
As I was trying to say, I'm just tired of lack of quality of life in cities. But if u live in a good neighbourhood, you have the best of both worlds. If u don't have the money for it, be frugal and creative until u do.
this is the advise I'm giving myself and bf, though he doesn't need advice, he's been amazing with all this. Have I mentioned I love him more each day? We have saturn trining our ASC, and I sure feel it. It gets better with time.
We're praying God will open doors and show us the way. We will have enough help I think, from familly and maybe friends, but we need to know what it is that we want. How high to aim...
This reminds me of my astrology consultation..... learning to make saturn my sun's servant. telling him what it is that I want, asking him how to get it. Maybe that is my saturn return's lesson. I'll have the exact return in august.
(Photo is an "Art Car" in San Francisco"! "We're going to san francisco, lallalalal :) )


Devil Mood said...

I can't imagine what I'd be like if I were to pick a new place to live. The World is so big, I wouldn't know what was more important and I'd probably move to a place just because I dreamt of it.
Like you said, you need to know what you want but that's not easy at all, I find! Particularly since you're already considering the long-run. Sometimes people just move on a whim and think: we'll see, we'll stay for a year...
But I think it's great that you have a wider perspective. Just don't get lost in it ;)

Devil Mood said...

ha, dont get lost in the wider perspective - said the Sagittarius!

Violet said...

By wider perspective you mean thinking in the long run?

I'm not thinking in the long run actually, just where I need to be in the next 3 years.. the only important thing is to be close to where I could work and study and have fun. But that fits lots of places. Ideally it would also be the perfect place to buy a house and have a baby too, but that is long run.
Sometimes going on a whim is the best thing to do... i'm finding we might end up exatcly where my whim wanted. We'll see.
It's no use being afraid of stuff.choosing out of fear will only bring unhappiness.
Maybe you'll visit me wherever I end up =) I'll miss having friends over at my house. 11th house moon. My boyfriend will be having saturn in the 11th starting next year.. so we might not make alot of friends there easily. Or we will but he will miss his.

Devil Mood said...

Oh that's a tragic view of things. I think he'll probably lose false-friends,not the important ones. Or maybe his relationships with friends will mature greatly. :)

Yes, I meant in the long run because I got the impression that it was really important to you to find a place that is nice for someone to grow up in. That was the main vibe I got from your post.;)

Violet said...

He has a close nit group of friends that have been together for years, and he will be accross the world things will have to change.

I have a friend that had saturn in the 11th last year and she was in the azores while all her friends were in lisbon and other places for school or work, that's how it manifested for her. For him, he'll be the one to leave.